Chapter 1: the road to becoming a family of three

As I quickly approach my 3rd trimester (on Monday), I have felt impressed to write down our story; or better words, our journey to becoming a family. It's a long and emotional one (okay maybe only for me) but it's something I never want to forget. 

Jared and I have talked from the very beginning how much we both wanted a family. We both come from big families and that has always been something we wanted for our children one day. We knew we were going to be attending graduate school in the fall, so before we even moved we had decided that when we got close to graduation (so we would be married for about 2.5 years) we would start trying. We both felt like that was the best plan for us and our future. 

In August 2013, we packed our little apartment and headed to begin our first big adventure as a newly married couple in Spokane, Washington. Jared had been accepted into a 2 year Masters program and my plan was to work (and try not to go to target everyday) while he was in school. Things were going great. I had a wonderful job and we met some of the greatest people that changed our lives. All of our friends (literally almost every single one of them) had children and we quickly began to feel a little empty. I wanted a baby so I had a reason to attend play dates and mommy lunches, but the more we talked about it it just didn't feel right. I was being selfish and wanting a baby for all the wrong reasons. In reality, I loved our life. We were still in the newlywed stage and were loving every minute. 

A year went by and my hunger for a baby grew and grew. Except this time it was different. This time I felt inspired and ready to have a baby. Jared and I continued to talk and weigh our options, and after an evening at the temple, we knew it was time to start trying. I will never forget sitting in the temple with my sweet husband, hand in hand, tearing up together and feeling so inspired. We just knew. There was a little miracle ready to join our family. Knowing how strongly we both felt, I knew it wouldn't take long. How could it right?

9 months went by and each month got harder and harder to have faith. How could this be happening? We felt so strongly to start our family, but were we wrong? Why was this so hard? Each month I cried and cried as i stared at negative pregnancy tests, while Jared comforted me and bought me all the chocolate in the world. I started reading fertility books, taking my temperature, swallowing those nasty prenatal vitamins, EVERYTHING I could think and read about to help get my body prepared, but nothing was working. We both decided to give up, and since we were going to be moving in 2 weeks, we would just try again after we were settled down in San Francisco. 

Mother's day came and still no baby. I was upset. angry. frustrated. every emotion you could think of I experienced that weekend (my poor poor husband). (Guys, can you tell I married an angel?) That next week was spent packing up our house and finishing last minute things in Spokane before our trip to Hawaii, AZ, and then our big move to SF. Friday, May 15th 2015 was a day I will never forget. We were selling the rocket and leaving to Hawaii the next day. I was so stressed out, exhausted, nauseous, grumpy, and just done. We had an appt to sell our car at 4 and then dinner with Jared's sister and family at 5. I couldn't figure out why I was so grumpy, emotional, and tired. I chalked it up to moving stress and we headed out to sell our car. While there I started feeling so sick and told Jared I was going to walk over to Rite-Aid and get a pregnancy test. If it was positive, great I had a reason and excuse for feeling the way I did, and if not, well I was convinced Hawaii would be ruined due to my time of the month. (dramatic. i know) 

We got the test and headed straight home. I told Jared that if it was negative I just wanted to be left alone and not even acknowledge it. No more tears I was done being upset about it every month. We got home and I rushed into the bathroom. Feelings of excitement and nervousness filled my body, yet I told myself it was going to be negative and to not even get my hopes up. Those next 3 minutes while waiting for the test to process were hands down the LONGEST 3 minutes of my life. I walked out, threw in a load of laundry, and came back in to see the best word I have ever seen. 

PREGNANT.

Oh my gosh, did I read that right? Pregnant? I'm pregnant? We're pregnant?

Tears of joy and nervous laughs overtook my body and I started screaming and jumping up and down. We were having a baby. 

I really wish i would have recorded Jared's reaction, or could type it out better than I am, but in that moment I fell more in love with my husband than I ever thought possible. We were going to be parents!!!!!!! 

Pregnancy definitely hasn't been easy, but well worth it. We have grown closer together in our marriage and I have absolutely loved watching Jared transform into a dad. He is so sweet and comforting, and puts up with my stubborness and midnight cravings. We are so excited to welcome this sweet little girl into our family, and I hope and pray every day she is just like her dad because so help me if she is stubborn like me. I won't be able to handle it. We truly feel like the luckiest people in the world.

20 weeks and some pictures

We were so lucky to have my parents come up for the weekend. We spent the weekend eating yummy food, shopping for the baby, visiting the painted ladies, and going to a Giants game. Dignity Health (where Jared works) is a huge sponsor of the Giants so it was really neat seeing their logo everywhere. Jared was even wearing his Dignity jacket and someone stopped him to tell him what a wonderful company he works for and how they do such a great job. It was definitely one of those proud wife moments! Jared and I were cracking up at the game, because we knew my dad was a huge Dbacks fan, but had no idea my mom loved them so much. She wouldn't even cheer or clap for the Giants, even when we won at the very end. I had to beg her and pretty much make her give me a high five. It was hilarious! We had so much fun having visitors for the weekend, and even though pregnancy stops me from doing a lot of things, including having energy, they were such good sports :)

Speaking of pregnancy, we are 20 WEEKS TODAY! can you believe it? I really am still in shock not only that there is a tiny human growing inside of me, but that we are already halfway done. As excited as we are to meet this sweet little girl, we hope she continues to cook for another 20 weeks :) She is officially the size of a banana, which is ironic because that is one of the things I crave most. Jared and I are so excited to be parents to this sweet little thing who already has us wrapped around her little finger. Every movement she makes I melt and Jared laughs at how ridiculous I am. There is definitely no hiding that I am pregnant anymore, and maternity clothes are heaven sent. I am convinced.

We are really loving our time here in San Francisco. The weather is absolutely beautiful and thanks to the church we have met some of the greatest people. We really will be so sad to ever leave here, although I don't think I will miss how expensive everything is, or having to bring bags with me everywhere I go. Our little home is really so fun and we have loved starting our little family here.

Jared and I really feel so blessed these past few years. We have had some tough times but we are so grateful for all we have and continue to be blessed with. We are so lucky to have each other and the gospel that brings us so much peace, a wonderful job with a fantastic company, great friends that have become our family, and a beautiful tiny human that has already blessed our lives and made us happier than we ever could have imagined.

Here's some pictures from the weekend!

Week 16

WOW what a week it has been. Seriously it has been crazy! This past week we made a surprise trip to AZ. Jared had some business meetings to attend so I decided to come along for the ride and hang out with family. We were able to eat Mexican food, have a swimapalooza, and baby shopped like crazy. Plus my amazing mother in law treated me to a pedicure and maternity clothes. I really got so lucky in that department! Anyway, while in AZ we found out we were having a BABY GIRL! I had some blood work done in SF before we left that also used the baby's DNA to check the gender. I am not going to lie... I am not a patient person and waiting for this news was KILLING me. I kept calling the doctor and staring at my phone waiting for them to call. It was so fun finding out that we are being blessed with a beautiful little girl. Jared and I are so excited and knowing the gender has made this baby/ pregnancy a little more real :) so here are some pictures and then my good ol' pregnancy update :)

Baby is the size of: An Avocado. But by the look of me its more like a watermelon :) Happy 16 weeks to me :)

Maternity clothes: oh yes. i bought some shirts which I don't quite fill out yet... but I cannot go anywhere without maternity pants or a skirt. I LOVE IT! 

Sleep: Well, AZ made my sleep schedule a little better; I would wake up around 10 instead of 1 so that's progress. But this baby still really likes her sleep, which means we nap quite frequently during the day :)

Best/Worst moment of the week: the best moment was finding out she is a SHE! Also, the nausea went away completely while we were in AZ and it was heaven. Worst moment? It came back. I am ready for it to be gone completely.... but for now I will continue to carry around barf bags and granola bars every where I go :)

Miss anything?: I do miss having a lot of energy... and still miss not quite being myself. I keep telling myself this will be so  much better once the sickness goes away but I have decided I can't keep waiting and I just have to continue with my life. 

Food cravings: Oh gosh.... Pizza rolls. Popcorn, fruit by the foot, granola bars (but just the peanut butter kind), salad, Mexican food, and I REALLY want cereal but milk isn't my favorite so I am learning new ways to eat that :)

Anything make you queasy: Um a lot of things. really. most smells and talking about what I want to eat turns me away from food. 

Weight gain: Nope. still down 15lbs.....

Stretch marks: nope

Happy or Moody: Oh gosh.... My sister told me that having a girl doubles your hormones and makes you even more emotional. I really hope she is right, because that is the ONLY thing that would explain why I cry ALL.THE.TIME. Seriously it has gotten a bit ridiculous. 

Symptoms: I feel like I am the typical pregnancy with every symptom, but this week heart burn and feeling baby move have been fun :)

Looking forward to: having this baby. And I'm not even half way haha. I look forward to having more of a baby bump, feeling better, eating better food, making dinner again, just really having energy haha. 

Our new life

Welcome to our new blog! We are the Williams;  Jared, Reagan, and our little baby on the way. We recently moved to San Francisco, California where Jared is working at Dignity Health in their corporate office. He is currently working in strategy and business development; in other words, think Shark Tank but in the Healthcare world. I stay home all day resting my body since pregnancy hasn't been that kind to me so far. I have been very very sick since week 6, spending most days in bed throwing up at least 4 times a day. I have been on heavy medication to try and get the nausea and vomiting down and can say at week 14, I am finally starting to catch a glimpse of what it feels like to be normal again.... well, normal and pregnant. Here's a little pregnancy update and a few pictures to keep everyone happy :)

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Lemon. I am 14W 3 days today and trying to wrap my brain around their being a lemon baby in me! 

MATERNITY CLOTHES: Pants.... oh bless maternity pants. Other then that i can wear normal yet stretchy bottoms (like leggings) and any shirt :)

SLEEP: I swear this baby is nocturnal. Awake all night and sleeps all day! I struggle with sleeping; fall asleep around 1:30-2am and sleep till about noon-1pm. It's a terrible sleep schedule and if anyone has ideas how to fix it I would greatly appreciate it.

BEST/WORST MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Best? Heard the baby's heartbeat on the doppler thing at the doctor. Also Jared and I were finally able to get out of the house and see some of San Francisco. What a glorious and quite smelly place :)  

MISS ANYTHING: Besides a normal sleep schedule, food. I really have been missing food. I am getting to the point where I can eat a little more variety of food but I really miss my morning bowl of cereal. Milk hasn't been my bodies favorite thing this pregnancy. 

FOOD CRAVINGS: WELL, i stick to a pretty basic, same, every day type of diet. aka I only eat things I crave. These past few weeks, Eggo waffles, Popcorn, Margharita Pizza, and Mexican Food. Holy Yes Mexican Food. Also I am going to the grocery store to stock up on fruit by the foot, chewy bars, and triscuit crackers. weird. 

ANYTHING MAKE YOU QUEASY: If i wrote down every thing that made me queasy or throw up, you wouldn't eat ever again. But jello is nasty. Also, I really don't love chicken.. and I am sure there are more things but I really don't like thinking about it. 

WEIGHT GAIN: -15lbs. Did I mention the terrible vomiting?

STRETCH MARKS: none so far... but I am sure that wont last long. 

HAPPY OR MOODY: I like to think I am a pure saint always, but I am sure my husband will tell you otherwise. I think i am perfectly happy all day long... but really deep down even I KNOW that's not true. I am a very emotional person who has cried in every show and movie these past few months. I also am very very irritable. And stubborn. It's the worst.

SYMPTOMS: I think I have had every symptom in the book. Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, headaches, dizzy, and most recently, sneezing/cold symptoms. It's great .....

LOOKING FORWARD TO: so many things. I can't wait to be able to have an actual belly, instead of this awkward "is she fat or pregnant stage?" Also eating whatever I want.... and being able to leave my house without my barf bucket. I carry that thing every where i go :)

And here are some pictures: The day we spent in SF and our little family picture :)